I really shouldn’t have, since I should know my way between these particular points of A and B, but nonetheless…I got lost.
But my getting lost is not the point of this post. The point is that I realized something as I was trying to find my way (the first time around).
I began thinking to myself: what if, tomorrow, I found out that I have a terminal disease. After all, these things do happen sometimes. But what if I found out that I was going to die much sooner than I had previously anticipated? What if I had somewhere around 2 months to live?
I know this is hardly a new question for human to ask, but I think it’s an important question.
Because I thought about it, and realized that I really don’t have many regrets. I have some, of course, but not as many big regrets as I feel most people respond with when they are asked this question. I think, considering my upbringing, I was encouraged to cherish my life. I was encouraged to notice the blurred line between the small moments of life, and the big ones. I have been lucky enough to realize my current calling in life, and I am on the path to fulfilling it. If I die before I finish, I’ll know that whatever I managed to accomplish was, in fact, for something.
However, I realized that I do have one regret. Just one, I think.
And I’m afraid it’s a bit to intimate of a regret for me to share with you, great wide world of the Internet. (Which might beg the question as to why I’m writing this post at all. But you know what? It’s my blog, so you can just keep on scrolling.)
Regardless, it’s a regret of something I haven’t done. One that may or may not be out of my hands to begin with, but it still holds first on my list of things to do before I die. Most of the rest of that list are just frivolous possibilities and while I might miss them a bit, I don’t think I’ll mourn having not done them (at least not very much). But this regret…. I mean I know I’d be sad and probably scared about dying,but I think my death would be extra bittersweet for me if it had this regret tacked onto it. And what’s even sadder, is that even if I had 2 months to try and clear it…I don’t think I could. Not in two months. Not something that I haven’t been able to do in nearly 23 years.
But then again, I’m not dying am I? At least, not as far as I know. So what’s to stop me from starting now? When I have no foreseeable time limit, aside from one usually allotted to a person of my age and health? Why don’t I try NOW to fulfill that one regret? So that whenever I do feel my life slipping out from underneath my eyelids, I can think to myself: “Well…at least I _____ .” Why don’t I?
Well, that seems to be the question of the hour, doesn’t it, folks?