September 2011
I thought it was a thing that could be done.
Me: (walking into random optometrist office) Hi, I was wondering if you could help me. Do you guys sell any kind of cleaner, or something that can get rid of a scratch on a lens?
Man Behind The Counter: Ummm...(long pause).....we don't sell anything like that. Besides maybe that glasses cleaner that has an anti-glare protective film in it.
Me: No thanks, that's not quite what I was thinking of.
Man Behind The Counter: Yeah, we don't have anything like that. What you're looking for, there's, uh, actually nothing like that...that's been invented....ever... (looking at me like I asked him where to find Narnia)
Me: Oh, okay. Well, I just though I'd check.
Man Behind The Counter: Yeah, nothing like that really exists....soooo--
Me: --yeah, thank you! Thanks for your help. (Quickly leaving)
Me: (Outside the office) Well, that was awkward.
WHY IS IT SO COLD.
Only slightly less importantly: I grew up in Michigan, why have I suddenly turned into a PANSY?
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My professor got so into his lecture that he...
Professor: ...If any of you have ever had to confront a friend who was living and unhealthy or harmful lifestyle, like maybe with drugs or something of the sort, and had to have an intervention for that friend, you might know what I mean. You can approach that friend in the most loving and sincere way, with no other goal that to help that person as sensitively as you can. But no matter what you say, that person is only going to hear:
"YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH, LOOK AT HOW YOU'VE RUINED YOUR LIFE!"
Daughter: (head flies up from her coloring book)
Professor: I'm sorry sweetie, daddy didn't mean any of that.
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“For each one of us, there is only one thing necessary: to fulfill our own...”
– Thomas Merton
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I'm just the girl taking prescription medication...
Don’t mind me.
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A Moment In My Life:
So I’m sitting at my desk with my headphones on, when I hear a sound. Thinking it is someone at the door, I get up to check. I open the door and no one is there. Confused, I close the door.
In a moment of comedic aspiration, I re-open the door, take another look, and squint my eyes as I slowly close the door once again. Secretly in my mind I am thinking, “This is funny, except no...
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“When a beautiful actress is cast in a movie, executives rack their brains to...”
– Mindy Kaling on the women who only exist in romantic comedies | Flick Chicks (via rufustfirefly)
“It’s a beautiful, imaginative, helpful text for some people. In the wrong...”
– ~My New Testament Professor, on the Bible.
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“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in...”
– John Wesley (via cjspoolstra)
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Was just told that according to studies, my first...
So, yeah….got that to look forward to.
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“Love can come when you’re already who you are, when you’re filled with you. Not...”
– Deb Caletti (via kari-shma)
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Rumored that there's a Dr. Who Convention coming...
I haven’t even seen enough episodes to be considered a proper fan, but I freakin’ LOVE being near a town where things like this HAPPEN!
Ever since Boston, I no longer have any patience...
(Picture it: Me walking down the street...I see some people wearing green vests, handing out flyers...I attempt to walk past. And fail)
Greenpeace Guy: Hey! It's you! I've been waiting for you ALL DAY!
Me: Really?
Greenpeace Guy: Really!
Me: Really.
Greenpeace Guy: Yes, REALLY! How would like to stop for a second and learn about how to save the earth?
Me: Ooooh...I would....but I have to meet some friends right now (*lie*), so...sorry!
Greenpeace Guy: Awwww! (Not buying my lie)
Me: (Walking away as quickly as possible, so as to prevent him from making any further comment...only to get stopped 10 ft. away by a red light at the crossing)
--Awkward silence where I hope I'm too far away for him to try and continue---
--I'm not---
Greenpeace Guy: But won't your friends understand? Wouldn't they think it was cool that you were late, because you stopped to talk to a guy from Greenpeace? I bet they'd forgive you for taking time to care about the environment!
Me: Actually they'd probably punch me in the face.
Greenpeace Guy: What?! Really?
Me: I don't know.
Greenpeace Guy: I doubt they would...
Me: They might! MY FRIENDS ARE UNPREDICTABLE!
(Light turns green, I turn and leave to the sound of Greenpeace Guy laughing hysterically)
BEST. EXIT. EVER
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Being responsible for my own food on the weekend...
I have a can of soup, and no means to open it. Might have to go Military and jimmy it open with my Swiss Army knife.
I have four ears of raw corn.
I have a can of Sweet & Sour soup. What the F is Sweet & Sour SOUP??
My lunch today is made up of hummus with some Sale bread I bought today. It’s on sale because it’s old.
I bought a can of Arizona Sweet Tea and thought,...
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