Telemarketers be crazy
Telemarketer: Hello, is Sher-eeel Hew-Maahn-ick there?
Me: No, she's unavailable right now.
Hot in Cleveland
Melanie: I have a date! My first date in 25 years! He wants me to meet him at the Windy Highland Marina. (to Irka) Do you know where that is?
Irka: It's where whores go. You're too old to act like this.
Joy: She's not old, 40 is the new 30.
Victoria: And 50 is the new 40.
Irka: What's 80?
Joy: It's still 80.
Irka: And I still don't like you.
My advice for the day:
Eat this flavor if you want to feel like your intestines are collapsing in on themselves.
#29. What other people think of you is none of your business.– Life Lessons Learned, 90-year-old Regina Brett (via unproductiveprocrastination)
What is wrong with me...
Today I was getting some breakfast for lunch and instead of pouring a bowl full of cereal, I poured a bowl full of milk. Now how am I supposed to get the cereal in?
That’s my answer to everything. Whenever they say, ‘What...– Betty White
Betty White's funniest T.V. moments →
My step-mom sent me this and it brightened my day significantly.
Disney's coming out with an animated version of...
They were going to call it Rapunzel, but changed it to Tangled, which I suppose is more clever. It’s starring Mandy Moore as Rapunzel… and Zachary Levi as Flynn Rider, who I can only assume is the hero-figure to the heroine… I’m excited, but I’d be more excited if Disney had kept on the track they were initially on, and casted Mathew Grey Gubler as Flynn Rider,...